Fails of the week, backyard luge, Emma Watson and more are winning the Internet today

Since we here at Guyism pretty much live on the Internet we run across an awful lot of good things each day. These are some of the funniest, sexiest, most entertaining things we’ve seen on the Internet today.

Teen Has Sex With Hot Pocket

Huffington Post

Humanity has hit a new low.

Teen Explains Why He Had Sex With a Hot Pocket

Dogs Make Everything Better

The Chive

Even a cold and snowy Monday.

Life’s Tough, Get a Dog (56 Photos)

Pizza is as Good as Bitcoins

Pretty amazing that Ellen got a billion dollars worth of talent to pose for that Samsung selfie – and they got paid in pizza. #Oscars

— ben schwartz (@benschwartzy) March 3, 2014

Miranda Kerr Looking Award-Worthy

SI Extra Mustard

Best dress of the night?

SI Hot Clicks

Best Fails of the Week

Uproxx

These also make Mondays better.

The Best Fails of the Week (Video)

The Oscars in Under Two Minutes

Justene Jaro in a Polka Dot Bikini

Gorilla Mask

That just can’t seem to stay on.

Justene Jaro (NSFWish)

Backyard Luge Track

Fox Sports Buzzer

This is just too cool.

Best Way to Spend a Snow Day: Backyard Luge Track

Phillies Hooters Ball Girl GIF

Busted Coverage

GIF of the shortest shorts in spring training ball girl history.

Phillies Hooters Ball Girl Now in GIF Form

Duly Noted

If you're thinking about sending me a DM about my boobs, do us both a favor and don't.

— Julie DiCaro (@JulieDiCaro) March 3, 2014

Photoshopping the Oscars Selfie

RSVLTS

Wow, I don’t remember Will Ferrell being there!

Photoshopping the Oscars Selfie [12 Photos]

Sandra Kubicka in Lingerie

Hollywood Tuna

Poland has just been kicking ass in the model department lately.

Sandra Kubicka is a Hottie You Should Know

Best Burger Ever

Thrillist

A burger that might get you drunk? I’m in.

This Burger Has So Much Beer In It, You’ll Get Carded

Emma Watson: Flawlessly HOT

BroBible

As usual.

Emma Watson Looked Flawlessly HOT at the Oscars