9 important questions about Cheese Chester’s broken foot in the pierogi race

Sad news to report as Cheese Chester broke his foot last night. Chester, a staple of the Pittsburgh Pirates pierogi race, will be out 6-8 weeks. The scene was quite somber as Chester was taken away on a stretcher. Was there foul play at work here? Did Cheese Chester flop? I’m asking the important questions today.

9. Why does Cheese Chester look like Waldorf from the Muppets?

8. Is this lady really a doctor?

7. Because I have my doubts—she tried to put her stethoscope on Cheese Chester’s weiner.

6. Is Cheese Chester insured by the Allegheny Health Network? Are mascot injuries covered under Obamacare?

5. Can Jim Ross come out of semi-retirement to call this injury?

4. As far as astute observations go, where does this rank?

3. Is Cheese Chester really a patriot, or is he just playing the #NEVERFORGET card?

2. Wait, forget Cheese Chester, I want to know why “Bruh If Kevin Hart” was trending on Twitter?!

1. Is this the worst post on the internet?