We’re down to the final two episodes of American Horror Story: Coven. What happened on S03E12 “Go to Hell”? Let’s find out.
LOSER: Disrespecting Fiona
FX
Fiona reveals to Queenie plans for a competition called the Seven Wonders to find out whom the next Supreme really is. Queenie rightfully calls her out and says she just wants to find the new Supreme to kill her. She then also asks what happened to Marie Laveau and Fiona’s had just about enough of the back talk and force chokes her Darth Vader style. So the cancer hasn’t taken all her powers, I suppose.
LOSER: Attempting to touch Madison
Now that Cordelia has blinded herself in an attempt to get the power of The Sight back, she attempts to touch Madison. Initially Madison won’t let Cordelia touch her out of fear of being found out with her attempt to kill Misty, but once Cordelia gets a hand on her, the power of The Sight is gone. Womp womp. Nothing worse than blinding yourself for no reason, trust me and every mom’s tips on not masturbating too often.
WINNER: Fried chicken hallucinations
FX
Queenie attempts to find out what happened to Marie Laveau and her witchery leads her to her own personal hell — working back in the fried chicken joint — and a meeting with Papa Legba. Papa Legba warns her about Hell and tells her to get back before she’s trapped there forever. Apparently getting to hell is a very difficult task for a witch.
Papa Legba comes back to real life with Queenie and shares some hot cocoa, which is just hilarious. To get Papa Legba to help find Marie Laveau — in pieces thanks to LaLurie — she reminds him that Laveau can’t find him new souls every year unless Legba helps her get Laveau back.
Meanwhile, LaLurie is conducting the horror tour at her old house, extolling the virtues of herself to disappointed tourists who came just to see slave torture. Hilarious. Queenie figures out that she must be there — and knocked out the tour guide for good measure with plans on carving her up. Queenie offers LaLurie the chance to make things right by helping poor black people. But LaLurie has seen how people treat apologies on TV — Anthony Weiner’s and Eliot Spitzer’s in particular — and won’t do it. So she’s going to stay evil…up until Queenie somehow removes her immortality and offs her immediately after. That was efficient.
LOSER: Marie Laveau and LaLurie’s hell
We’re taken to what seems like a flashback with Marie Laveau torturing Madame LaLurie. But it’s not a flashback, it’s their collective hells. Laveau must torture LaLurie and her daughters until the end of time and LaLurie must endure it. Fitting but still kiiiinda sad.
WINNER: Fiona’s painting of herself
FX
Fiona is being painted by a fine French painter for her Coven until she has a final-sounding conversation with Cordelia, telling her daughter that she didn’t need to blind herself, the powers were always still inside of her. Fiona then offers her a broach that was Fiona’s mom because this is her final goodbye; Fiona thinks she’s going to die in a couple of weeks so she’s making amends…sort of.
When the broach is placed on Cordelia, she gets the sight again, seeing a dead Madison, a dead Misty, a dead Queenie, and a dead version of herself with Fiona walking around above all of their corpses.
Cordelia goes to the Axeman to warn him about Fiona and how she’s going to end up leaving him behind when she regains her power.
WINNER: Queenie’s continued cleanup of everyone’s messes
Queenie finds Misty because she’s witchin’ so hard and she’s barely alive after days in the coffin. Misty comes back to find a returned Kyle and Zoe, too — Kyle killed a dude who was being an asshole and Zoe brought him back to life…kind of ruined their travel — but immediately gets back after Madison, beating her ass pretty handily.
The Axeman comes in and ruins the vibe, though, covered in blood. It looks like he killed Fiona after confronting her with Cordelia’s intel. Fiona tells him she doesn’t love him and he doesn’t take it too well, axing her in the back repeatedly when she tries to tell a story about getting a calico cat. He then took the body to the swamp and fed it to the gators which means she’ll stay dead, thank God.
And this is why we don’t bring back the spirits of murdering ghosts to the mortal coil.
When Kyle goes to finish the Axeman off, the witches all team up — save for Cordelia and Myrtle — and knife him to death because they don’t need a man to protect them “nobody messes with their coven.” So now we love the Coven again. Alright.
The painting of Fiona is hung with all of the other past Supremes and the test of the Seven Wonders will begin with all of the witches participating to find the new Supreme. And we have our finale, hooray!
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I liked this episode quite a bit more than the last few, maybe because people’s motives sort of made sense this time and maybe moreso because we’re finally clearing the deck a bit. LaLurie is gone, Laveau is gone, Fiona is gone, even the Axeman is gone. Now we can focus in on what the show has been teasing all along — who is the new Supreme? I kind of wish there had been more of a build to the moment rather than the mishmash of plots over the last four or so episodes, but at least we’re at the end game without the dragging Fiona nonsense (and somewhat dragging LaLurie nonsense) to account for.
The episode gets four out of five axes to Fiona’s back for me. The Supreme is dead. Long live the Supreme.
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