We can probably just call off the 2014 Father of the Year race now

You don’t know Ronald Savoy of Lakewood, N.J. But you should. Because he’s the greatest most terrible dad ever.

The story below, published by NJ.com, is a true tale of Savoy’s triumph in the face of adversity. By which I mean it must be really hard to get it up at a deli in front of your young son.

NJ.com

A kid’s got to learn how to jerk off to a footlong turkey club at some point. Where would we be without the helpful lessons from fathers?

(via @MentalityMag)