This is sports, right? I mean, yeah, this is sports. Shut up you guys, it is.
Ok fine, it’s not nearly sports but whatever.
Tangentially related: In high school, there was a Brazilian exchange student named Fernanda. Not exaggerating when I say she was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen. Anyway, I tried to teach myself Portuguese to impress her.
Needless to say, it didn’t go well, it didn’t go well at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure I screwed up and said, “I would like to lick peanut butter off your elbow.” I was a pimp, clearly.
[ESPN]
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