5 teammates you’d love to have and hate to play against

Everyone thinks they want Kobe Bryant, Lawrence Taylor and Brett Favre on their team. But do you really want them as teammates? Other than the fact that they’re productive in play, those guys suck – as people.But it is possible in professional sports to be a talented player and a good teammate. These are the kinds of players you want in your locker room and on the playing field (ice, court, etc…).

The Tryhard – Joakim Noah

When you play a guy like this, you wish he would slow the hell down. He isn’t necessarily more athletic or stronger. But it’s like he has found the secret door that allows him to access the parts of the brain that other humans can’t use. Noah is a relentless rebounder and stout defender in an era of NBA players lacking in both qualities. He averages 12.6 points and 11.3 rebounds per game, sixth in the league. The guy is a huge asset to the Bulls team, and no one ever wants to guard him. He’s a madman, and while it’s not pretty, he is very productive.

The A—hole – P.K. Subban

He may be an Asshole, but he’s your asshole. At one point in 2012 Subban couldn’t stop getting in fights with his teammates, but now they seem to respect him and he has since focused his brash words and mean spirit on his opponents. He’s also good at helping his teammates score with 43 regular season assists. And he put his money where his mouth is by putting up two points in five of the seven games against the Bruins in the 2014 Playoffs. The Habs, of course, won that series. Then, he demonstrated his don’t-give-a-f**k attitude, Habs fans have come to know and love.

“I really don’t care what people have to say,” he said after the game. “I really don’t care what the other team thinks. I don’t care what their fans think. If they hate me, great. Hate me. We’ll just keep winning, I’ll keep scoring and we’ll move on.”

The Glass Shatterer – Milan Lucic

He could also go down as “the bruiser,” you’re choice. Lucic fulfills both categories. He’s a terror on the ice that puts players on their back before they know what happened. Plus, they’re probably concussed so badly they don’t even remember how they got there. He also had 35 assists and 25 goals this season – so he can hurt you with his play, not just his hits. If his antics on the handshake line after this year’s Habs series aren’t good enough, then you’ve got to see the moment where he actually broke glass over Mike Van Ryn. The Bruins probably looked at each other and thought, “Thank god he’s on our team.”

The Freak – LeBron James

You don’t want a Diva on your team – it gets old. But for players who don’t want to deal with the media, they can sit back while their teammate makes all the headlines. In LeBron’s case, he deals with the media gracefully. Let’s bury the hatchet on “The Decision.” Though he’s fresh off an NBA Finals loss, he’s the best player in basketball. He is probably the most dominant player in any sport. When he throws down highlight reel dunks and makes high-IQ assists that have become commonplace, you understand he’s not a diva. He’d be a Diva if he didn’t perform. He’d be a Diva if he caused trouble off the court. No, he’s a rare talent, a rare athlete – and you’re oh so glad he’s on your team, because otherwise he’d be posterizing you, instead of everyone else.

The Chirper – Steve Ott

He is an industrious chirper. Talking smack is tactical in the NHL. It can get the best players off the ice and into the penalty box. A guy like Ott knows when other players are getting emotional and takes advantage of them – poking and prodding them, probably with well-researched material about their wives or sisters. It’s fun to watch. Although, sometimes he’s goes a bit too far. Once, he licked a guy. And he’s one of – if not – the dirtiest players in the NHL, which supports the point that you want him on your team.

Ott took out Jerome Iginla with nasty hit, then knowing he was headed for penalty box, he tried to drag Iginla in with him. Though Ott doesn’t manage it in this case, he still knocked Iginla around in way that had him hearing footsteps for the rest of the game. You like that in a teammate.